


Ever Watching And Ever Waiting, My Loyal Friend

by Dewsparkle



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Merlin (TV)
Genre: Immortal Merlin, Implied Arthur/Merlin - Freeform, M/M, Magic, Manipulative Dumbledore, Not Really Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Powerful Merlin, Resurrection, Those two in general, Triwizard Tournament, Weasley twins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-09-19 21:02:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9460301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dewsparkle/pseuds/Dewsparkle
Summary: Merlin has been waiting for millenia. Watching vigilant for the time of Arthurs return. What he didn't anticipate, however, was getting caught up with a certain trio and their trouble. Looks like Arthur would have to wait, this situation would require his attention for the time being.Who knows? Maybe the Prat would finally decide to come back?





	1. Chapter 1

Let it be said that Merlin was tired.

Nearly two thousand years and Arthur had not yet returned from the dead in Albion's time of need, or whatever that particular prophecy meant. While Merlin was glad there was no great disaster, he missed his King.

Merlin sighed as he walked down the streets of New York, still looking young as ever. He rarely donned the guise of 'old man Merlin' anymore, as he prefered to look himself.

Arthur told him to never change, after all. He just didn't think the 'never change' part would be so literal. He truly cursed his immortality sometimes. Honestly, it was such a hassle to have to constantly create new identities. It was so much easier a few hundred years ago. No pesky technology to fool or hide from if he wanted to get a job or something to pass the time in the Muggle world. Most people back then would just dismiss him if they thought he wasn't aging as he moved from place to place, but not these days.

He was staying in some hotel for the few weeks he had been staying in the city. It was nice, but impersonal. His small cabin by Lake Avalon was much homelier. It was styledmuch like the days of old in Camelot, with modern additions. But he needed a break, he was sure Arthur wouldn't mind if he took a few weeks off. He owed him a _lot_ of days off if Merlin said so himself.

So lost in his thoughts, he didn't realise something was wrong until someone ran into his shoulder. Then he heard the screams.

Merlin's head snapped up instantly. People were fleeing the scene and there was a group of masked people shooting at random in the street. Merlin froze for a moment, trying to figure out what was happening. It took him a second- he'd forever blame his old age for it taking so long to click, but he realised he should probably be doing something.

But now was not the time, as was punctuated by a shop front exploding not far in front of him. He raised his arms to shield his face as more screams sounded throughout the street and he snapped into action.

The dark haired man ran through the crowd, skillfully avoiding the civilians with ease that came from spending years as a servant being pulled into battles. He pulled his neckerchief over his face even as without much of a thought, his eyes flashed gold and an invisible bubble surrounded his head, allowing him to breathe freely through the flames as he dashed into the store.

Eyes flashing he shifted debris and pulled people out from where they were trapped and ushered them out onto the streets, handing them off to police officers that were just arriving at the scene, along with paramedics and firefighters.

Ignoring the shouts of the officer behind him, he dashed back into the building, stumbling as the one next to it burst into flames as well, the shockwave rocking the floor. He reached out with his magic, finding only one more person trapped in the building.

He dashed through the flames, enchantments protecting his skin even as it turned black with ash and scorch marks made themselves known on his clothes. There was a wail just off to the side and Merlin paled. It was a child.

He ran through the flames, dodging a support beam as it collapsed where he had been but a moment before. Huddled behind an upturned metal table was a small child, no more than four or five. She was crying and coughing harshly, a thin trail of blood at her temple and matting her short brown hair.

He approached as quickly as he dared, not wanting to frighten her, swallowing harshly as he saw who must have been her mother dead underneath a bit of collapsed wall.

"Hey, sweetie." He cooed softly, crouching in front of her and edging forward. She continued to cry from her spot, looking at him with such fear.

"I'm gonna get you out, okay?" With a flash of gold the table lifted into the air and moved out of the way. It caught the young girl by surprise and Merlin took the opportunity to scoop her up into his arms, covering her mouth with his neckerchief and extending the two enchantments to her. The first protected against smoke, not ash unfortunately and he didn't want to take any chances.

He weaved through the flames as she clung to his once brown jacket, sobbing into his shoulder. Some of the roof fell inwards and blocked their path, the little girl screamed before Merlin quickly shushed her and looked for a way out. Eyes flashing, his magic showed him a path around the collapse.

Ducking under a flaming beam, he held the girl close and ran the last length to the door, jumping through a shattered window just as the roof completely collapsed behind him.

There was sounds of fighting going on further down the street, and with a glance he realised the criminals were steadily being apprehended, or killed. He jogged towards one of the paramedics, when a shout caught his attention.

He turned. Merlin was focussed on the man running towards him, despite the medic trying to hold him back.

"Sophie!" The man cried and the little girl looked up.

"Dada!" She yelled back, squirming and straining forward in his arms so suddenly that Merlin almost dropped her. Then the girl- Sophie- was grabbed and pulled into a fierce hug by the man, kissing her frantically. He turned to Merlin.

"Thank you, thank you so much." There were tears in his eyes as he looked back towards the building, then looking back at Merlin, dread growing on his face. "My wife-"

Merlin shook his head, placing a hand on the mans shoulder. "I'm sorry. When I found your daughter there was a woman, but the wall had collapsed on her. I don't think she suffered. I'm so sorry." Merlin told him, trying to stop his voice from wavering.

The man took a deep breath and blinked rapidly, hugging his child closer. He nodded, muttering one last thank you at Merlin before handing the little girl to the nagging medic.

The sounds of fighting had stopped, so Merlin guessed the bad guys had been dealt with and turned to leave, muttering to himself the entire time. He supposed New York wasn't as fun as it used to be. He'd head back to his cabin tomorrow. 

~~~

Merlin appeared in his small cabin with a sigh, dropping himself uncerimoniously onto his sofa and closing his eyes.

Home. 

He guessed that's all it could be for now. Camelot was gone, the castle and town lost to the test of time. Well, that wizard school was built from the foundations of the once great castle by the 'Black Lake'. It was actually connected to Lake Avalon, though it had been almost been cut off completely as the land began to grow over it.

Groaning, Merlin heaved himself from his comfortable position and set about making something to eat. With a wave of his hand his things began to unpack themselves and fly back to their correct locations about the cabin.

With the dexterity honed by the decades, he was quick to prepare himself some sort of stew. Waving his hand once more, the dishes began cleaning themselves as he wandered out the front door and sat by the lake, nibbling on his food absentmindedly.

He sat out there for hours, staring distantly at the peaceful water and not for the first time wondering if Arthur could see him there, waiting for him to return. Maybe he was waiting for Merlin to come to him, even though in the past he'd usually lost his patience quite quickly and eventually dragged him off by the ear to whatever task he wanted done.

Merlin's lips twitched upwards into a small, sad smile at the memories.

The sun began to vanish over the tree line as Merlin sat, stars appearing in the darkening sky.

"Well, Sire, I suppose I'd better head in." He said to nobody in particular, an almost forgotten image of Arthur lying on a small wooden boat as it drifted through the water before catching alight. Merlin screwed his eyes shut and forced the image away.

Most days he had trouble remembering what Arthur looked like, or the exact tone of voice he used during their banter. Or the affectionate way he'd say his name. A vague _"Come on,_ Mer _lin!"_  echoed in his mind. 

Merlin sniffed as he stood, expertly ignoring his stiff joints. "Clotpole." He muttered under his breath as he dawdled back inside.

As the years past, the details of his friends began to fade, frightening Merlin as they did. He didn't want to forget them, but as the decades grew longer, he found he didn't have much control over the matter.

What shade was Gwen's skin? What did her hair feel like as he stroked her head to comfort her in the wake of her husbands death? Or the knights? Their features were blurred and faded, voices lost in time. 

And Gaius. His mentor and long time friend. He'd been the first to die after Arthur. It wasn't surprising, really, he was rather old after all. It was the knights that went next, in battle of course. Then finally, Gwen died fourty years after the Battle of Camlann. Old age and with a smile on her face as she drifted into sleep and did not wake.

Shaking himself from his morbid thoughts, Merlin found himself getting dressed for bed. Pausing in the act of pulling on his sleep shirt for a moment, he sighed again and continued, sliding sluggishly under the covers and to lay on his side.

He stared at the bookshelf by his bed for a few minutes before keeping his eyes open became too much of a chore. Then between one long blink and the next, he fell into a deep sleep.

That night he dreamt of the future. Of the resurrection of a dark wizard through the use of a young boy he'd tried to kill over a decade ago.

The next morning, Merlin awoke with determination. By lunchtime he'd sent a letter to Hogwarts with a new name he'd created and was already done preparing everything he'd need to take by the time a reply was sent, granting him a place in the school as a fourth year student.

In no time at all, September first came and he was waiting in an empty compartment on the Hogwarts Express, de-aged to look like his fourteen year old self.

It was time to head back to school and try to prevent the ressurection of Lord Voldemort. 

Just like old times. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait for this chapter. I hope its alright, but I think it kinda turned out to be filler-y, sorry about that. I'll try and update this again soon, but I make no promises as to when.
> 
> Enjoy? :)

Merlin sat alone in his train compartment for some time. He’d gotten there early, and was happy to watch as crowds of people congregated frighting quickly on the platform. A sad smile twitched at his lips as he continued to watch. All the bustling about reminded him of the lower town on a rather busy day at the market.

Parents and children alike were rushing about to store away their things, shouting over the increasing cacophony. Friends milled about, hugging each other and talking excitedly to one another about whatever happened between the last time they’d been together.

Then there were the first years. So small, so young, so… _innocent_. Yet untarnished by the harsh truths of the world they lived in. Blissfully ignorant and anxiously attached to their guardians as they were seen onto the train for the first time.

It was a long time before Merlin was pulled from his vacant daydreaming and people-watching. He blinked back to himself, finding the last of the children being ushered onto the carriages as a shrill whistle sounded in warning. A moment later, he heard the door slide and jumped, turning to look at the person- no, people- standing in the doorway.

“Do you mind if we join you? There’s no room anywhere else.” The bushy haired girl asked, a dark-haired boy and a redhead shifting unsteadily on their feet as the Hogwarts Express jolted into motion.

Merlin shook his head, trying to will himself to calm down and stop staring. The spacing out was happening more and more often. It always left him disorientated and confused, easy to startle. It had been a long time since he’d left his isolation. The trip he took to New York barely counted.

The girl smiled in thanks and made her way in, storing her bag in the overhead compartment along with her two friends before all three sat down opposite him.

By then, Merlin had managed to make himself look away, gaze drifting towards the window to watch the world go by. The three were talking quietly to themselves, but Merlin didn’t bother to try and tune into what they were saying. It wasn’t until a little while later, when someone tapped his shoulder did he realise that now they were trying to talk to him.

He looked over at them as the girl pulled back, shifting to face them more and show his attention.

“Hi, I was just wondering… what house are you in? I don’t think I’ve seen you around before.” She asked a bit sheepishly, her friends expressions showing their curiosity as well.

Taking a breath, Merlin went to speak, but the sound caught in his throat from disuse. Swallowing, he tried again. “I don’t know.” He croaked slightly, coughing into his hand to clear his throat. “I haven’t been sorted yet.”

“What do you mean? You’re too old to be a first year!” The redhead exclaimed, while the girl gave him a concerned look. Merlin shrugged.

“I was home-schooled.” He said simply, clearing his throat again against the tightness.

“Why are you coming to school now, then?” The boy pressed.

“My Uncle was teaching me.” He said, looking away. “Gaius… he passed away. He was old, so it wasn’t unexpected, but…” He trailed off, voice clouding with emotion as he tried not to think back on his mentor. How had his smile shaped his face? How had it seem to remove the wrinkles of age from his face, yet still leave so many to show his happiness? How high did he raised that damned eyebrow of his? _He couldn’t remember_.

“Oh Merlin! I’m so sorry!” The girl cried, bring her hands to her mouth, sympathy swelling in her eyes. For a moment, Merlin froze at the use of his name, but then relaxed a moment later. He hadn’t been in the Wizarding World for a long while. He wasn’t so used to his name being thrown around like that as he was previously.

The dark-haired boy expressed much the same, though phrased differently and a touch more awkwardly.

“Oh, wow… sorry, mate. Must be tough…” The redhead looked like he was going to say more, but a sharp glare from the girl stopped him quickly enough.

There was a beat of silence, before the boy with the round glasses spoke up. “What’s your name?”

“Marlin Emrys.” He greeted with a slight incline of his head.

“It’s lovely to meet you, Marlin. I’m Hermione Granger. This is Ron Weasley and…” She hesitated, looking at Merlin for a moment before continuing. “Harry Potter.”

Merlin blinked at her, then looked at Harry. So _this_ is who that dream had been about. “Oh.”

He hadn’t realised he’d said that out loud until he got a confused ‘What?’ in reply. Blinking, he shook his head to clear his thoughts.

“Oh, it’s nothing. I just- I just didn’t expect to meet you is all. To be honest though, I don’t really see what the big deal is. About you. Well, not you, but the fame.” He said tactlessly, stopping only once he realised what he was doing. Damn, Gwen had definitely rubbed that particular skill off onto him. It had been a while since he’d had to use a brain-to-mouth filter. Too long talking to Arthur. Well, ‘Arthur’.

They blinked at him in shock, and he quickly hurried to elaborate. He needed to help them and he didn’t want to make his job that much harder. So naturally, when confronted with such situations, he looked to Gwen for guidance and started to ramble.

“Well, I mean, er… it’s just, the whole The-Boy-Who-Lived thing is a bit odd to me. Firstly, it’s frankly a dumb title, but never mind that. And secondly, even though it’s a title you have for surviving a curse that is supposedly impossible to survive- why are you the hero of that story? I mean, no offense, you’ve done amazing things in the past few years from what I’ve read, but you were a baby that first time. You weren’t even old enough to be really doing accidental magic yet. At least not for another few months.

“To me, the real hero is Lily Potter. I don’t care what people say, no spell is unstoppable. Whatever she did that night protected you when she died. I’m frankly appalled she and your dad get barely a significant mention in those stories. The most they get is ‘Stood against Voldemort and sacrificed themselves to save their son’, which is true and any decent parent would do the same. But it ignores all logic. A one-year old baby, no matter what some prophecy says, cannot defeat a fully experienced and very powerful dark wizard.”

They were all staring at him, gaping, especially Harry. “Er, sorry. I shouldn’t have brought them up, it was insensitive of me.” He winced, rubbing a hand through his short black hair with a bony hand.

“No, no, it’s alright… It’s just that no one has ever seen it like that, not even me until now. I’ve been wondering how I could have possibly done it the first time, because it didn’t make sense, but nobody wanted to hear it so I stopped asking.”

“Oh… well, you’re welcome?” Merlin replied hesitantly, trying for a smile. Thankfully, Harry smiled back and the topic was dropped for now. Hermione had a thoughtful look on her face but was soon distracted by Ron speaking up.

“So, what house do you think you’ll get in, Marlin? With that logic, you sound just like a Ravenclaw.” He teased. Merlin smiled sheepishly.

“Uhm…” The problem was, is that he’d been to Hogwarts as a student a couple of times throughout his life. Not many. Just enough to help keep his sanity from fraying too much while he waited for Arthur. He’d helped the founders build and set up the school, and the Sorting Hat never wanted to sort him. He was the embodiment of magic and also possessed all the house traits. So, he got to choose.

He’d used his magic to rebuild the castle, all those years ago, with those four ambitious magic folk. It was different of course, but retained some things from the original. Gaius’ and Arthurs chambers remained in the same places, hidden and unchanged. He’d been the one to create the Room of Requirement, too. His own little contribution. It allowed him to escape into the past when he needed to with startling realism.

Blinking back to himself from his thoughts, he refocussed on the three teens across from him. “I’m not sure. Maybe Hufflepuff?”

Ron grimaced slightly and Merlin frowned. It seemed that nobody still seemed fond of that house, probably still thinking them pushovers.

“Really?” Hermione asks, leaning forward, not judging merely curious. “Why do you say that? I was thinking Ravenclaw, too. You seem smart.”

Merlin looked away and pulled a knee up to his chest and rested his chin on it. He stayed quiet for a long time, feeling the gazes of the other three watching him. He pulled at his neckerchief anxiously. Dammit, he was nearly two thousand years old! He should be over this.

He swallowed thickly, furiously ignoring the burn in his eyes and the building lump in his throat. “I had a... friend, he um, he always said my heart was too big for my own good. He-” He didn’t know why he was telling them this. But it was true, Arthur had said this to him before. But he didn’t think he could make himself continue, so he shut his eyes and looked away to hide the stray tear.

“…what happened to him?” Harry asked, surprisingly gentle. Taking a shuddering breath, Merlin pulled up his other knee and curled against the window, forehead pressed against the cool glass.

“He died.” He whispered. Even now, it was hard to say, hard to accept. It had been so, so long since he’d last seen Arthur. Since he’d last seen any of his friends. “He died in my arms and I could do _nothing_.” He shut his eyes again and resolutely ignored the trio for the rest of the ride.

He only moved to change an hour before they were to arrive. He silently did so and resumed his place by the window, pretending not to hear them attempting conversation.

Why had he told them those things? Maybe… maybe he just needed someone to know. To know that he had failed the _one_ person he needed to not fail the most. He just… didn’t know anymore.

The trek up to the castle passed in a haze. He felt detached from his body, watching it move without him really thinking about it. Thankfully, by some miracle, once the castle was in sight he snapped back into himself and marvelled at the sight. No matter how many times he saw it, it never failed to remind him of better, happier times.

Hogwarts was no Camelot, but it was close enough.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. Finishing up grade 12 within the next couple weeks so haven't been able to write as much as I've wanted. In other news, I'm now a year older as of last month so yey! I'll have to adult very soon. xP
> 
> Hope you like the chapter. I'm not sure how happy I am with it, though.

As Merlin made his way up the wide stone steps with the first years, who were looking at him strangely, he wondered which house he was going to be in this time. Over the years, he had of course had a go in each house just to see what it was like, but he wasn’t sure which he would choose this time.

Merlin was distracted from his thoughts when the group of first years came to a stop before an overly large, heavy oak door with metalwork designs stretching from its hinges in swirling, vine like patterns. An old witch with her hair pulled back into what looked like a painfully tight no-nonsense bun and long robes stood with her hands loosely crossed before her as she waited for quiet. Then, much like every other time Merlin had come back here, she began to explain the sorting ceremony and the traits of each house.

Once that was done, she waved her wand and the doors began to swing open, allowing the group to follow the professor into the hall full of students. Merlin looked up and smiled. The ceiling had not lost its charm no matter how many times he viewed it. He had helped Rowena make it reflect the night sky, but what most would not notice is that the stars were in the wrong places. This sky was the one Merlin would see at night nearly two thousand years ago, free from the influence of time and modern-day pollution.

Turning his attention back to the hall, he looked to the side and saw Harry, Hermione and Ron looking at the passing first years. He gave a little wave to them and they smiled back at him in greeting, Ron giving him a thumbs up while Hermione mouthed a ‘good luck’.

He was reminded of Gwen for a moment, how she would do the same thing when he and Arthur rode out on some hunt or another. He shook the thought away before it could bring him grief, he had more important things to think about.

They reach the end of the isle, where a small four-legged stool sat with an old pointed hat resting innocently on the seat. The hat had been Godric’s, and Merlin was honestly surprised every time he saw it that it had not fallen to pieces, even with the magic preserving it. Then a seam opened and the hat began to sing.  
  


“ _Oh you may not think I’m pretty,_

_But don’t judge on what you see,_

_You never know what you might discover_

_Hidden underneath,_

_I’ll eat myself if you can find_

_A smarter hat than me._

_“I tell you now a story you all should know,_

_That once long ago,_

_In a time of magic and swords and song,_

_A boy of no great import,_

_Not much older than yourself,_

_Came to the great city of Camelot,_

_To protect the Once and Future King._

_“The warlock came and went as times past,_

_The first born with magic,_

_In a time where it was scarce and fast to hide,_

_He learned his craft as you will soon,_

_And he became the greatest our world has ever known._

_So don’t you forget,_

_That even the great need time to learn and grow._

_“Now I’ll look inside your head and see where you fit,_

_There’s nothing hidden that I can’t see._

_So try me on and I will tell you_

_Where you ought to be._

_“You might belong in Gryffindor,_

_Where dwell the brave at heart,_

_Their daring, nerve, and chivalry_

_Set Gryffindors apart;_

_“You might belong in Hufflepuff,_

_Where they are just and loyal,_

_Those patient Hufflepuffs are true_

_And unafraid of toil;_

_“Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,_

_If you’ve a ready mind,_

_Where those of wit and learning,_

_Will always find their kind;_

_“Or perhaps in Slytherin_

_You’ll make your real friends,_

_Those cunning folks use any means_

_To achieve their ends._

_“So put me on! Don’t be afraid!_

_And don’t get in a flap!_

_You’re in safe hands (though I have none)_

_For I’m the Hogwarts Sorting Hat!”_

The hall broke out into applause, but Merlin was left feeling vaguely unsettled. The lyrics were concerning for his presence, as the hat never made any mention on Camelot any other time he’d come to the school. He didn’t know if it meant something or if the Hat had seen his name and decided to unsettle him for no particular reason.

Either way, the professor explained that she was now going to sort the first years, as well as Merlin or Marlin in this case, as he was transferring to the school at a later stage. A couple of nervous first years were called forward and were quickly sorted, rushing hastily to their house tables after the sorting hat was removed from their heads.

“Emrys, Marlin.” Was suddenly called. Merlin took a breath and made his way forward from the back of the first year group. Being taller, he hadn’t wanted to stand in front of them and block their view on their first day.

A hush had fallen over the hall, mostly because he was probably one of the only people in the history of the school not to be sorted at age eleven, as the students watched him ascend the few steps and sit himself down on the wooden stool. The hat was promptly placed over his head, just managing to cover the eyes of his fourteen-year-old self.

_“Ah, Merlin, always such a pleasure to see you. Back again, I see?”_ The hat said into the space Merlin had allowed it to enter in his mind. Being magic incarnate, the hat couldn’t read his mind without Merlin allowing it to. _“No matter, which house shall it be this time?”_

_“I’m not sure. I almost want to go back to Hufflepuff, but I have to help Harry Potter. Do you think it would be best for me to be there instead? Close by and all that?”_

_The hat hummed in thought for a moment. “Harry Potter, eh? Yes well, tricky that one. He’s always getting into trouble. The portraits are terrible gossips when it comes to what trouble he gets into.”_

_“So, Gryffindor then?”_

_“If that is what you wish.”_

_“It is.”_

_“Well then, it better be-_ GRYFFINDOR!”

Applause broke out from the Gryffindor table in welcome to their new housemate. Merlin smiled shyly at the attention and quickly made his way over, settling in the space made for him beside Hermione and a slightly chubby boy with short black hair and a nervous disposition.

The three welcomed him into the house and introduced him to Neville Longbottom, the other boy next to him. The sorting continued with each house gaining quite a few new young minds. There were some general announcements, as well as the introduction to the Triwizard Tournament.

Oh. So _that’s_ what’s happening here.

Yeah, it wasn’t much of a stretch for Merlin to assume this was all going to go to shit for Harry in some way very quickly. Though, with the age restriction on entry, Merlin couldn’t think of many ways that the boy would be getting involved. He’d have to keep a close eye on both Harry and the enchantments woven into the Goblet of Fire.

Merlin blinked back to himself to find Hermione waving a hand in front of his face. He blinked again and turned to look at the girl with a confused expression when noticing her concerned one.

“You okay, Marlin?” She asked, eyes flicking over his face in concern.

Merlin frowned, he must have lost track of time again. “Yes, why?”

“We’ve been trying to get your attention for a while mate, are you sure you’re okay?” Ron put in, still chewing on his desert which Merlin was surprised to see, considering he’d barely started eating dinner what seemed like a few seconds ago.

“Oh, sorry.” He looked down at his plate and quickly grabbed the nearest item of food and started to eat it, but mostly just ended up pushing it around his plate disinterestedly. A slim hand touched his arm causing him to jump, turning towards Hermione.

“You don’t have to be sorry, Marlin. Just tell us what’s wrong, yeah? Maybe we can help?” She tried, a hopeful note in her voice. Merlin couldn’t help the small smile that twitched at his lips. She really did remind him of Gwen, but he quickly shut that thought down before he got lost in the past again.

Well, he could tell them an edited version of the truth, he supposed. What harm could it do? He looked back down at his plate, slightly embarrassed, he was older than dirt and his memory and awareness of time fading made him blush like a virgin? Really? Why was he like this?

“Oh, well, um, you see…” He swallowed another bite of whatever the sweet food he’d collected was to delay for a little more time. The trio were all gazing at him expectantly, making him feel like he was back in Camelot being interrogated by Arthur for something of another.

“I don’t remember when it started-“ And Merlin really didn’t, it had been a slow thing building up over the years. ”-but I have trouble… remembering, I guess. Sometimes I don’t realise how much time has past, or I’ll be doing something and then suddenly I’ll be doing something else without knowing what happened in-between.” Merlin chanced a glance up at them, and found only frowns.

 Ducking his head back down, he continued at a mumble. “It’s dumb, I know, but I’ve tried to fix it.” Then, a little heartbrokenly, “Gaius would probably know how…”

Against his will, he imagined, just for a moment, that it was Gaius’ hand on his arm and not some girl he hardly knew two thousand years into the future. He sniffed and quickly scrubbed his face with his hands before proceeding to ignore everyone and pay very close attention to the uneaten food spread messily over his plate.


End file.
